I have never felt so overwhelmed like I do right now at this very moment. Autism kicked my has today.!!!!
There just was no way of explaining or fighting the meltdown that happened today! It was bad !!! I think today was the first time I have truly noticed that living with autism is never going to be an easy thing. It will be hard.... Hard work. It will be overwhelming and it will be me handling it mostly on my own. It will also be very hard to explain to people that have no idea what Autism truly is or how it could be to live this way. I can say I am truly disappointed in myself for not taking the opportunity to explain autism at its most meltdown point today. Instead I kept it all inside (I know horrible choice). That was the worst I could have done. I didn't explain and I didn't in a way stand up for my child. I feel horrible and heart broken for that. I feel like I let my son down. Why didn't I say this is "a meltdown" and please let him work it out on his own!!
I understand people who truly don't get autism because I have been there before we got Tyler's diagnosis. Not everyone understands how autism works and not everyone understands that a child with autism has a brain that works differently. They also think differently then a non-typical (normal) brain thinks. Sarcasm is non-existing and is not understood to a child with autism!! It has to be taught to them and still misunderstood by them. As much as my child wanted to understand sarcasm today .... He didn't get it, He never will and it hurts his feelings. It's so hard as an outsider looking in to see what Tyler goes through,... The struggle is so hard for him. I wish I could take it all away, but I can't. I can only try my HARDEST to teach him how to live a life where he can try to understand the world he lives in. It's a world of hard times, struggles and times of not understanding, but as Tyler's mother ... I will ALWAYS be here for him and I will always try to help Tyler understand the outside world!!!!
