Most important video to me!

I seen this video and it really touched my heart. It is truly the stages of what you go through when your child is diagnosed. Also how you deal with it. It helped me realize that its ok to go through all the feelings I have and still do go through. Also knowing that I am not the only one out there going through this. There are other mothers/fathers out there that have children like my son, Tyler. I think it is important to try and reach out to parents that are experiencing the same things you are. They understand more then anything. It helps to know you are not alone and to truly know someone that understands you and your journey you are on. 

I watch this video when I am feeling over whelmed, lost, confused and ALONE!

It helps to hear it from someone else that you are NOT alone! 

School has Started!

A week or two before the first day of school....
This is when all of Tyler's anxiety, stress, stomach issues and fear start up again. He was so worried about school. He tells me he hates his school and how no one cares about him there. That breaks my heart. As you have read in the past blog posts, we have been trying to get Tyler an IEP with his school. I am sad to report that it has been so hard to do this. They actually put it off so much last year that it wasn't completed and we had to wait to finish it in the new school year. This was very upsetting for us. We were wanting everything to be done last year so we could have the summer preparing Tyler for the changes in the upcoming school year. Now he has returned to basically the same thing as last year. It doesn't help his anxiety and change his hate for this school. So, the morning anxiety before school has started, I am back to having barf bags in the car for him to throw up in on the way to school, he cries sometimes, begs me not to go, Tells me he has no friends, we have to go over all the safety features the school has so he understands a stranger will NOT come in the school and harm him or the kids, I have to explain to him his teacher is on his side and how we are trying our hardest to make changes to the way he learns and attends school. All that I just explained is something we go through every morning before school. Then there are days he will throw up in school and I have to pick him up. OR he will just be to overwhelmed, stop working, stop paying attention and shut down. Shutting down for Tyler is going non verbal, no eye contact, no participation and just puts his head down for the rest of the day. We have finally had the IEP meeting. It was the longest four hours of my life! We had to hire a child advocate to help us in this meeting and for future meetings. I can say she is an amazing advocate. If there is any parent out there that needs an advocate for the Miami, Broward or West Palm Beach area in South FL please contact me and I will share her information. I don't know where we would be without her!During the IEP meeting we did make some changes and he is getting some help from the ESE teacher, Speech Therapist and a Counselor. They did not do all the evaluations the doctor and I requested. We had to go back for another meeting last week to fight for them to do those evaluations. It has been a roller coaster ride with this school and fighting for Tyler to receive what he deserves for his education. It is very upsetting to go through this process in this way. I am happy they started to help him and I look forward to him getting the full amount of help he should get in school. I will fight for that until he receives it all! 
As of now he still has anxiety and gets upset to go to school. He does enjoy going to the ESE teachers room. He tells me she is very nice and not a lot of kids are in that classroom. I just want my son to be happy and enjoy learning. He deserves that as much as any other child or non-autistic child going to school. My heart goes out to all the special needs parents out there that struggle with this school system to get the education their child deserves. 

No child should fall through the cracks or be ignored!

Summer Time.... is the Best Time!

It has been a long 3 1/2 months since I have sat down and took the time to type out what has happened in our crazy wonderful chaotic world!  

Starting with summer time. 

Summer time is a wonderful time in our house. It is the time to sleep in, relax, no school, play video games, play outside, go to the pool, no school, stay up late, vacation time.... did I say NO SCHOOL ? Yes with all the fun we do in the summer time the only thing that truly means so much to Tyler is ~ NO SCHOOL ! It is amazing how much he changes when its summer break. He is more relaxed, he actually has a smile on his face and enjoys his day. I don't see a lot of anxiety, stress or fear. The best thing is there are very few meltdowns. He is just a happy boy playing with his brothers and having fun with no worries. I love seeing him that way. We really enjoyed our summer. We still continued his therapy visits with the psychologist and behavioral therapist. He seems to be learning a lot in behavioral therapy. He has some visits where he really participates and other visits he does not. The therapist is really good at working with him, understanding how far to push him and when to give him space. I like being there also because she does teach me a lot of parenting techniques and ways to change the mistakes I make parenting a child with Autism. It is not an easy thing to do and there is a lot to learn. I feel more confident as a mother now that we have been seeing this therapist. She has also noticed the change in him during summer.  

In July we went to SC for my son Brandon's baseball tournament. It took us a month of therapy visits to get Tyler prepared for this trip. She helped him understand he has to go, why he has to go, what we are going for, what he will do there and see there, who will be with us, how we driving there and more. We had to go through the trip for him. Visually showing him pictures and a map that way he could feel as comfortable possible leaving is safe place. He still had anxiety, he still had meltdowns, he still would fight us on almost everything, but then he also had good days/moments too. We know change is very hard for him. This trip was a huge challenge for Tyler. Thankfully I had my parents come to SC and they helped us a lot with Tyler. He didn't have to go everywhere we went because he was able to stay back at the condo with Grandma. That was a huge help. After our return from SC it was almost time for the the new school year to start.  

And so it ALL begins again.....  

Autism Tattoo

This journey has been something that has touched and changed our family in so many ways, BUT for me it has been an emotional journey. As a parent to a child with Autism, you have to change the way you parent this child. That way they understand you and you understand them. It has been a learning experience for me through Tyler's behavioral therapy. It has also been parenting therapy for me. I have to change the way I approach things, how we discipline, how we praise him for doing good and how we carry a conversation with him because he doesn't understand everything the way we do. It's even harder when you have other children in the house that do not have Autism. Everyday I learn something and I am more confident as I go through our journey.  

Getting a tattoo for me is a emotional experience. I get tattoos that have a meaning to me and this means so much. 

Happy Mothers Day! 2014

I had a wonderful Mother's Day. We went to Universal Studios in Orlando. We had to prepare Tyler a head of time and try to make him as comfortable as we could about going. He had a few meltdowns and panicked moments. We decided to go to guest services before we went into the park. We explained to them that we have a child that has Autism. We had his diagnosis from the doctor on paper, but they said they didn't need it. They gave us an Attraction Assistance Pass. It was a big help. - 
If the wait time for a ride is under 30 minutes they let you go through the express lane. If the wait time for the ride is more then 30 minuets they give you a time on your pass to return. That way Tyler is not waiting in line and his anxiety stays low. It worked out perfect. We tried to get him to ride each ride, but he was very nervous and panic was setting in. My husband and I took turns sitting with him when the other boys went on the rides. His brothers, Brandon and Sean, had a blast! It was fun to enjoy the day with all of them and have fun. Tyler did ride one ride!!!! That was a huge step for him and I was so proud. It was a hard day for him being in such a crowded place with so many sounds and everything going on. I know it was a sensory over load for him. I am truly proud of him for trying as much as he did. :)

School, IEP's, 504 Plans.... oh my!

School is such a challenge for Tyler. It is the one place he feels so alone, afraid, bullied, out of place etc. It kills me how hard it is for him to just wake up every morning and go to school. Most mornings he has a barf bag with him on the way to school just in case he needs to use it because of his nerves. We paid for his comprehensive testing out of pocket to expedite the process of getting him an IEP.  IEP ~ Individualized Education Program. An IEP will be a detailed plan of recommendations the doctor says the school should follow to help make it possible for Tyler to learn. At the moment he is just trying to make it through a day of school, one day at a time. There is so much anxiety and panic attacks that he really does not learn much at all. The school has been taking forever to get this going for him. So as they take their time, my child suffers and gets nothing accomplished in school. It is heart breaking. I just want him to like school and feel comfortable going. I thought the charter school he goes to would be ready to help in a timely manner for his benefit, but it has not been that way. I have heard the horror stories from so many parents ~ "Schools will fight you on the IEP"..."it takes forever to get an IEP"..."you might have to hire a lawyer to get the IEP"! Why? Why should it be so hard to help a child in school to learn? Why does Broward county have to have such a lengthy process to just help children who are suffering in school. It is really upsetting. I was thinking this would be a easy process, but now I understand it is not. I will FIGHT for my kid to be able to learn and enjoy school. I will make sure he is comfortable in school like every other child is! The school should understand that. We are Tyler's ADVOCATES and we will make sure Tyler gets what he needs.

Something I Read Everyday!

Its hard to understand what your child is thinking or going through.  This is a good reminder that they are just children looking up to you for acceptance and understanding.